Chlamydia Rap

One of the most fun assignment I've ever had was for our largest Hospital's Emergency Department - a series of 30 second ads to be played on the in-house TV's for waiting patients but which would appeal to the specific target audience of teenagers.

Well, I've worked with and written for teenagers quite a bit, so I guess I was a natural and although I impressed the hell out of them with my scripts (I know, I'm modest) in the end, the filmaker they chose didn't and the project was cancelled.

I was paid well and applauded for what I gave them, but I'm still disappointed my scripts weren't filmed. That's the lot of a screenwriter - you write so much which never sees the light of day for one reason or another even though, the scripts were good.

Here's an idea of what I gave them:

PRODUCT: 16/09/06

An extra advertisement has been requested in addition to the series of five advertisements already provided, to slot into the repeated 50 minute-showing of teen-appeal surfing video in the Emergency Department at ---- Hospital.

To be filmed by --- from -----, the target audience for the original ads and the longer video is youth, however, the additional ad is aimed at a slightly older and more monies 20 – 25 year olds and is deliver by a nurse, seated at a desk in a serious manner.

The first five ads generally tell the story of Chlamydia using toys as characters in a party atmosphere at the Dolls House, with soundtrack music provided by -----. Hands obviously (in shot) hold the toys as they enact the scenes: going up or down stairs, break-dancing etc. Full-sized beer cans will be scattered around the dolls house.

The humorous juxtaposition of toys with full sized items should provide a comedic edge together with the further juxtapositioning of a serious message in between the seemingly frivolous.

However, I know the ideas have been adapted and used in various ways for workshops and conferences etc, as has my "CHLAMYDIA RAP" which disolved the whole office into stitches (pardon the pun).

Remember, we're dealing with trying to get boring facts 'out there' and impress the specific teenage target audience in a different way which will resonate.

These were not your typical teenagers, these were drug users and drunks who, when inebriated practised dangerous habits, so I needed to write to the attention span (30 seconds) and employ a fun and funky (preferably American - TV/movies influence) style.

See what you think:

CHLAMYDIA RAP

Listen here! Y’all need to know
Chlam – ydd-ee-ah Trach – o –mat – is is
as common as ‘the clap’ is.
It’s spead by sex without a hat,
don’t even know when you’re got at
- s’real dangerous for bubs ‘n testies,
‘cos it’s sneaky ‘n snarly ‘n silent as
‘til your eyes go pink ‘n your bum goes red.
Before y’know it – you’re real sick in bed.
Just pee in a cup - then give it up.
We’ll tell you by text so no-one knows
–one shot anti-be, ‘n away you go.

Frances Macaulay Forde © 2006